Lubhalwe nguSelloane Ntshonyane
Incwadi kaTumelo Phaka ethi, Kubuhlungu Ukuba Indoda, idingida imishikashika ecashile
ngemizwa eminingi amadoda amaningi abhekana nayo kodwa okungajwayelekile ukukhuluma ngayo.
Babalelwa ku-75% abantu besilisa abazibulalayo eNingizimu Afrika, ngokusho kweSouth African Medical Research Council.
UTumelo Phaka uthi abantu besilisa basezinhlungwini, futhi bayahlupheka bathule.
Lona wesilisa oneminyaka engu-33 ubudala waseSetlagole Village eNyakatho Ntshonalanga ubhale incwadi ejulile ethi “It Hurts to be a Man”. Uthi inhloso ukuthi kuqale izingxoxo ezivulelekile nezithembekile mayelana nempilo yengqondo yabesilisa.
UPhaka usebenza ngokugcwele njengochwepheshe we-IT wezimboni enkampanini yezimayini eNyakatho Kapa. Kodwa ukubhala kwakhe okumnika injongo. Incwadi yakhe yokuqala yayithi “Black Wolf in a Village”. Eyesibili ethi,”It Hurts to be a Man”, ikhuluma ngezinto amadoda afundiswa ukuzifihla: imizwa, ukuba buthaka, nemishikashika yengqondo.
“Amadoda aye atshelwe ukuthi aqine ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kodwa singabantu ngaphambi kokuba sibe amadoda, abantu banemizwa,” kusho uPhaka.
Uthi ukugcina ngaphakathi le mizwa kungaholela ebuhlungwini, ekonakaleni kobudlelwano, ngisho nasezinqumweni eziyingozi.
Incwadi yakhe ikhuluma ngakuthathela empilweni yakhe kanye nasekubonile. “Kwesinye isikhathi sidlula ezintweni ukuze abanye bafunde kithina,” esho kanje.
UPhaka ufuna ukuqeda umqondo wokuthi indoda kufanele ihlale iqinile. Uthi ngisho noma amadoda etshelwa ukuthi akhulume, izihlobo nabangani bavame ukungabavumeli ukuthi bavuleleke kalula.
“Abantu abasondelene nathi abasenzi sizizwe siphephile ukuthi sivuleleke ngemizwa yethu” usho kanje.
Ukholelwa ukuthi amadoda kufanele ayithathele phezulu impilo yawo yengqondo , kanti nabesifazane kufanele baqonde ukuthi amadoda adlula ezintweni ezinzima ethule.
Ubhale wathi ukuloba kuye kwamsiza ukuba aphole. “Kungisizile ukwamukela engingakwazi ukukuguqula nokusebenza kulokho engikwaziyo ukukulungisa.”
UPhaka uthemba ukuthi incwadi yakhe izokwenza amadoda azizwe ebonwa futhi ibavule umqondo wokuthi “kulungile ukuzwa futhi kulungile nokucela usizo.”
Ngokwe-South African Medical Research Council, ngo-2020 kuya ku-2021 cishe abantu abangu-11 kwabayi-100,000 bafa ngokuzibulala, kanti u-75% wabo bangamadoda.
I-South African Depression and Anxiety Group yona ithi cishe abantu abangu-23 bayazibulala nsuku zonke, futhi kumuntu ngamunye owenza kanjalo, cishe abanye abangu-10 bazama ukwenza okufanayo.
Isithombe esingenhla: UTumelo Phaka.
Umthombo wesithombe: i-Facebook kaTumelo Phaka